MInd over matter dears! Mind over matters!

Meaning since we are supposed to be "Rational" thinking beings, all this nonsense about not being able to control who you fall in love withs is absolute twaddle, hogwash and Balderdash.
You CAN control and if you've been hurt REALLY REALLY badly you NEVER recover fully so the form is already flawed which means you will not be able to give of yourself and surrender yourself completely and without hesitation to another. There will always be part of you holding back.
So the thing is how to make the best of it and try and rationalise who and what you start falling for. If your instincts tell you to walk away then do, there's always that little bit of time frame before you get the whole stinking truth about someone smacking you in the face.

And solutions for love will NEVER EVER be found in books fiction or fictions masquerading as truth.
Cynical yes that I am, my mantra is "This too shall pass" (whether it is happiness or sorrow!). But Humans being the irrational creatures we claim to be will always fool ourselves that the next time is the real time they fell in love. Or this is a real friendship true and loyal! Hah! Rude awakening next in line.

I looked up the book and it is definitely next on my to read list.

And again you bring up an interesting point. I don't think that the examples you brought up are extreme. They do exist on daily basis and sadly we do accept, rationalize, and make excuses for them, and always in the name of love. But worse at the expense of love.

We are but a collection of experiences and scars that shape us like a stained glass piece, and the end result can either be beautiful or it can be hideous. And those experiences also shape and form how we interact in general, and how we love in specific.  They way we love as teenagers, is different that in our twenties, or our thirties. We some times mature in the way we define and express love, and other times our definition and expressions are mutilated and tainted by our experiences.

Thank you alma...

Your comment is quite interesting... it started the following thought process in my mind...

Love is a very peculiar thing if you may, it takes different manifestations and means something different to each of us.  So like everything else in life even if the emotions, desire, feelings exist between two people, but they don't agree on the definition of love, things are liable to fall apart. And even worse when one thinks that love is a waste of time...

Which brings me to a different question, Can someone be incapable of love?

The answer for me is yes, might build a wall for a while but eventually I will let someone through, i don't feel life is worth it otherwise, truthfully.

Is one's heart ever "closed"?