Do your family members (not only nuclear, but your larger family) say things to put you and/or your ...

Posted by JosefJ on 18.01.2009

True, a person should be aware of what's happening around them, and try to fix it, so it wouldn't become worse with time!

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Posted by Shalabieh on 18.01.2009

Jealousy may be a valid reason but I also think that in our families (going back generations) if there are no good role models of loving relationships then on what do we model our behaviours?

Think about it a lot of our behavious, actions, movements, expresions, words, comments are modeled after our parents so if a girl is constantlyu critisized by her mom envietably she will do the same to her child unless she recognizes the behaviour and modifies it.

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Posted by alma on 15.01.2009

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i read this article "Help, my mother is jealous of me! One woman's mom resents her success. Dr. Gail Saltz advises," published on 22 February 2007 on msnbc's website.

This doctor argues that a jealous parent is usually unhappy and insecure in her or his life. It also states that there are parents who do feel jealous of thier children and are unhappy enough not to shadow those feelings with love and encouragement.

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Posted by lama_ya on 15.01.2009

it is extreme

but do you think i am wrong and ugly all the way since i was a kid ?

impossible

it must be jealousy then

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Posted by JosefJ on 15.01.2009

Jealous? Don't you think that's a bit too extreme?

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Posted by lama_ya on 15.01.2009

i think in the case of my mum it's jealousy ...

she can't stop criticising me - making me feel like trash

thanks mum

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Posted by Nadine on 21.12.2008

Mine used to. I'd get very ornery about it. Cut the cord early. They do it coz human beings are conditioned to grade others....the perpetual teacher/student dynamic.

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Posted by JosefJ on 20.12.2008

hahahaha, my aunt does that too! xD She nags a lot, but I know she means well, but sometimes she nags so much I just can't stand it any more, she does that with everybody!

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Posted by Ghassan on 20.12.2008

ok, Would you rather your family and friends be critical to your errors and mistakes or stay supportive no matter what?

View related quest

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Posted by razano on 20.12.2008

I have an aunt that does that all the time. She never stops until i snap at her every time i see her. I think some of these extended family members have their intentions right, but were taught they have to put people down in order for them to push them to change something about their behaviour that they don't like or something.

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Posted by JosefJ on 20.12.2008

They used to when I was a kid, mostly my mother, since I barely saw my dad, he was always away working and stuff.. anyway, I understand that she didn't mean to put me down, but she said what she ment, without knowing how the impact would be on me!

Why it bothered me? Well.. obviously because they should be supportive rather than them being so critical, and focusing on the negative sides!

Right now, I do consider their opinion but I do what I want, I just listen to their points of view!

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Posted by SXTZ on 19.12.2008

That stopped when I was 11 and gave them a piece of my mind by giving them the worst lambasting tongue lashing they'd ever experienced in their lives.

Now when they say anything they watch what and how they say because they know retaliation is fun for me.

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Posted by Shalabieh on 19.12.2008

as an adult they do it a lot less since I limit my interactions with them.

FOr me most of it was about body image, weight, comparison to my brothers sometimes it is very indirect sometimes it is right in your face.

As a child and a young adult the rules of being "respectful" were observed but now respect has to go both ways and if they dont offer the smae respect to me I dont see why I shoudl and I tend to say something back.

WHy they do it? What I noticed the most was this was aquired behaviour from parents and so it gets passed on to kids when they see their parents gossiping, talking, commenting, belittling and such ... these I think are behaviours that we have to unlearn.

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Posted by Ghassan on 19.12.2008

I think they used to say some stuff (not always) when I was in high school and I had a dream of starting a rock band (that only lasted for 3-4 months), but since I used to ignore them they stopped bothering me, until now, I couldn't care less what anybody have to say about me.

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